Cravings & Triggers in Sobriety

In today's episode, we're talking about how to move through cravings and triggering situations. Sometimes we're so unprepared for a craving because they can literally come out of nowhere! But each cravings serves as data, for learning about ourselves and how we drank.

I'll be providing some tips for working though a craving and how to stay sober no matter how bad the craving is.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome back to the Sober Scoop. My name is India. I am the host of this hair show. And today we're gonna be talking about cravings, how to work through cravings, and especially the power of a walk. I'm talking physical benefits, mental benefits, helping you get through cravings, a walk, even though sometimes it feels like the last freaking thing you want to do, a walk can cure so much. So without further ado, let's jump right into today's episode. So first things first, cravings. Oh my god, I swear these are the most annoying things because cravings are like uncontrollable in the moment. You can't you can't help but feel a craving every now and again. Like certain things, random things, can be so triggering. And we can learn all these amazing ways to work through our triggers, work through a craving. That's great and all. But just getting the cravings to stop can be so frustrating. They are intrusive. You can be doing so well in your sobriety, and then some random thing, a random person, a random restaurant, a random location, time of day, whatever, can just make you think about alcohol. And it is the most annoying thing, and it can really derail you. And that's why it's so important to have good strategies for dealing with them. And I just want to say that I've said this in a lot of episodes, but I don't view cravings as a negative. I know what I just said sounds quite negative because they're annoying, let's be real. But I look at each craving as just building the tools in your toolbox, in your sobriety toolbox. Like every craving that you have teaches you a little bit more about your relationship with alcohol, in in what situations you think about alcohol. And then moving forward, it's like every other situation that occurs similar to that, you're already prepared. Let's say uh, you know, one particular person makes you really want to drink. Maybe you always drank together, maybe they are an energy suck, and the only way you can get through a hangout is by drinking. There are lots of different reasons for why certain people can be triggering, but now you know, once you experience that craving, that trigger with this person, then the next time you plan on seeing them, you already know you're probably gonna be craving alcohol. Seeing that person is probably gonna make you think about alcohol. So you can start preparing yourself. And this goes for anything. It's sometimes hard for me to think of them right off the bat because cravings truly are like sometimes the most random thing. I mean, I remember when I first quit drinking, I would just pass the kitchen in my apartment and I would think about alcohol. But eventually it's like I know that when I'm in the kitchen, I'm gonna be thinking about alcohol. And you can start working on strategies to remove that craving or like be prepared for it. Um, maybe put that craving somewhere else. Put it into opening a can of soda or um chewing gum or having sunflower seeds or whatever your strategy is, but at least you can be prepared knowing that when you go in the kitchen, you might be craving alcohol. Because I think the most scary part is when we don't prepare, or like when we don't think that something is going to be triggering for us. I've been traveling before, and it'll be like the most random thing. Maybe it's a per a particular restaurant that I go into, and it just seems like the type of place I would have loved to sit at the bar and drink alone, or I don't know, I've been in social situations where I'm like, oh my god, this would be so much easier with a drink. I'm very anxious right now. And I think the scary part is when you don't know that the craving's gonna happen because the situation is so random, and you're like, oh my god, I wasn't prepared to think about alcohol during this. Like, whoa, that is kind of overwhelming and unexpected. But that's why I want to kind of shift our mentality into viewing each craving as almost like a blessing because it is a lesson. We're learning from every single one. And it's like the more of those situations that happen, eventually we get to a place where we're like so prepared for anything. We know as we move through this world what situations might make us think about alcohol. And we're just like prepared. It starts to, it starts to phase out almost. The cravings start to go away because you just under understand yourself so much. And also, I'm just somebody who loves to analyze situations. Why does that make me feel that way? Why do I think that way? I I find that all whoa, I find that all very interesting. And so, when I have a craving, it just makes me think about why. I think, why does that make me crave a drink? And in fact, this is another topic I wanted to talk about in this episode. For when you do have a craving, there are kind of like steps that you can follow to move through a craving. And one of those things is just asking yourself why. So I'm thinking about like this bar, or not this bar. Actually, it was a bar, but anyways, I I was wanting to get some work done in the evening, okay? And I looked up like three different coffee shops, they're all closed. Okay. So where's another place that you can open your laptop in the evening and like get some work done when you want to be out and about around people? Of course, it's like a bar or a restaurant that's like a hybrid bar, you know what I mean? Um, so I ended up going to this one place, and yeah, it is a bar. And it definitely just made me think about alcohol because I used to, that was literally my routine. I used to do that all the time. After my regular work was done, I would grab a beer at a brewery and work on my like more creative personal projects, and I just loved it. Like, I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I still miss that. That's like one of the few aspects of drinking that I think about because I would just I would get in this like creative head space, and I just love drinking alone at the bar and like disappearing and working on a project by myself. I loved it. So anyway, I was at this place working on my laptop. I had already planned it. I was gonna get a soda water with lime and a salad, and that's what I was gonna have, or maybe a diet coke or something. And I sit at this bar and yeah, I was just like overwhelmed with the feeling of like I don't know if it was I want to drink because I don't really think that way anymore, but it was kind of like this is the situation where I would have definitely gotten an alcoholic beverage. And yeah, I guess you could call it a craving. I was like thinking this will be fun. I was at the end of the bar, it was dark, like I don't know, I just I just felt it. And so what I do whenever I get these waves of thinking about alcohol, I think about why. So why in that moment am I thinking about alcohol? Is it because I want to transition? Like, is alcohol being used as a transition beverage? Because I used to do that a lot. Like I said, I would work on my regular job and then I would start drinking and work on my creative personal projects. And so that was like, it was almost used as a transitional lubricant for me. So I was like, is it that? Because I've already had a change of scenery which can act as my transition. Like I've switched from the cafe to the bar or I've switched from home to the cafe or whatever. A change of location can function as that transition for me. I don't need alcohol. And then I thought, is it the fact that I can't get into a creative mode without alcohol? And I think that was part of it. It almost like loosens me up and makes me just like choose funnier sounds or like write more openly. Um, so it's just interesting to think about. It's also like I've thought about alcohol when I'm it's always alone at bars. I don't crave alcohol that much when I'm with other people. On certain occasions I do, if it's like making me anxious or socially awkward or something. But usually whenever I think about alcohol, I'm by myself. And yeah, also like I think about it when I'm out at a bar or out at nighttime, like out in the evenings by myself anywhere, and I'm like, everybody else is drinking. I kind of want that almost flirty energy as a single gal. I think how am I supposed to meet somebody without alcohol? Those are the thoughts that enter my mind. And again, I just analyze it. What is it? Like, does alcohol make me go up and talk to people? Well, I can go up and talk to somebody if I want to. In fact, a really good trick that I've learned recently is this sounds pathetic and like thirsty, desperate, or whatever, but it's just a tip I learned. If you go out and you're like wanting to talk to people, you can wear or bring a conversation piece. You can wear a shirt that like makes people want to point it out. Maybe it's like from a funny TV show. Maybe it says something funny on your shirt. Maybe it's a bold hat. I went to the Mariners game last night and I wore this cowboy hat that I sewed a Mariner's patch on, and I got so many compliments. So many people were just saying, I love that hat. Where'd you get that hat? That's such a fun hat. Like, if you want that energy of talking to people, you don't need alcohol, you need a conversation piece. A lot of people do this by bringing their dog places. That's an instant way to open communication. So, anyway, anyway, anyway, I feel like I'm getting a little sidetracked here, but what I was saying was when we're having cravings, we analyze why we're having those cravings, and it's very interesting. We can learn so much from thinking about why we want alcohol, and we can actually learn and like discover these other strategies on our own. This tip of wearing something or bringing a conversation piece came from the desire to talk to people without alcohol. I kind of thought, like, oh, I need a drink to talk to somebody at the bar and like spark up conversation. Well, you can literally wear a conversation piece out and that does that same thing. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like you end up finding ways to battle your reason for wanting alcohol. So it's very, very interesting. The people that I crave alcohol around, I'm thinking of one person in particular that makes me want to drink because they're so like frustrating. I can actually think of two people who are just like annoying and frustrating to be around. And the reason I want alcohol is because it makes that unbearable situation a little more bearable. And I it made me think, I don't need to like engage with this person if they don't bring me any joy, if they're constantly frustrating me. And so instead of drinking that situation away and doing something I don't want to do, I actually learned I don't really need to hang out and talk with that person. I will direct my energy somewhere else. Um I know sometimes you have to be around certain people, but like you can find distractions. When this person was over at our house, it's like I dove into cutting up some cheeses for the charcuterie and like you're just preparing the board or whatever. Like you can dive into other projects almost. Um, what I'm saying is that it's just interesting to think about why. Why does this person make me want to drink? They're so boring. Okay, well, why are you still hanging out with them? You know, you just it makes you think about how to fix it in a real way instead of fixing it with the band-aid of alcohol. If you feel socially anxious in a situation, I'm thinking of another situation recently where I was with a bunch of people I didn't really know and I was like, oh my God, this is hard for me. And it made me think, why is it hard? Is it hard because I don't have a lot in common with these people? Is it hard because I'm out of my comfort zone? And it's just interesting to learn about yourself. And I feel like when you're constantly just covering everything up with alcohol, you never really get to learn about yourself. And sobriety teaches you so much, and you actually learn just how to be in your own skin in this world, how to move through life as you, as your real true self, instead of this fake version that alcohol is making you. And it's really, really interesting. So, scientifically, or whatever, they say that cravings last 30 minutes. 30 minutes. So, what I recommend a lot of times is like when we have a craving, we're thinking about alcohol, literally distract yourself for 30 minutes. So I think about alcohol when I'm in my house or something. It's like, why don't you do the dishes? Literally get your mind off of it. Use your hands. I feel like using your hands and putting that mental energy out through your fingertips is such a good strategy. Um, do the dishes. Do a puzzle. I love doing a puzzle. I swear I will be so in my head and like depressed, honestly. A few days ago, I was like in a low, low, low, and I was just going crazy thinking about everything. At 100 miles an hour, my head was gonna explode. I was just so in my head. And I started working on a jigsaw puzzle, and it was like poof, like everything just went away. I think it's because it's mentally stimulating. I had Love Island on in the background, and I'm using my hands. It was like everything to get your mind off of whatever you're thinking about. It was perfect. And eventually the 30 minutes passes, and just like that, your craving has passed. So I highly recommend when you're having a craving to distract yourself. I know that doesn't work forever. Like you can't literally go off and do something physical for 30 minutes every time you're having a craving in life, but it really, really helps, especially in those early days when you're like, I don't think I'm gonna make it through this craving. Like you're feeling like you're on the edge of giving in. Putting that energy into something else, especially something physical, really helps. And that leads us right into the discussion of the walk. Walking. People talk about walking all the time online. In fact, there's have you guys heard about this like controversy that's going on with the hot girl walk? This girl claims that she invented the hot girl walk and like trademarked it and so is suing everyone who has a hot girl walk playlist on Spotify. It is crazy. Should I title this episode Hot Girl Walk? Ha ha. No, don't need to get into any uh muddy waters there. But anyway, that's some crazy drama I'm hearing on TikTok. Um, but yeah, so a walk. Everybody talks about a walk. It's good for your mental health, it's good for your physical health, your joints. I mean, what isn't walking good for? It's so amazing. But here in the sobriety community, a walk is the cure, people. A walk is everything. In the beginning of my sobriety, I would be just struggling. Struggling. Like, I was happy to be sober every every minute that went by. I was like proud of myself. That's how hard it was in the very beginning. And so if you're going through that, just know that like we see you. We have all been there. The beginning is so freaking hard. But the last thing I would want to do is like go on a walk. I'm like, it's corny, it's not what I want to do. My thoughts are racing. I I'm feeling antsy, you know, that feeling of almost like can't contain yourself. You're just needing to move at all times, fidgety, just oh, mind racing. I hated that. And sometimes when you're in those zones, all you want to do is sit there and fester. But going on a walk helps so much. And it got to the point where even when I really didn't want to go on a walk, like that is not what I wanted to be doing, I would still go because I I got addicted to the benefits of a walk. I knew that even though I do not feel like getting up and moving my body right now, a walk will cure it. Whatever I'm going through. That fidgety energy, a walk will cure. Craving alcohol, a walk will cure. You pop in a podcast, maybe this one, okay? Pull up a cravings episode. I've done lots of them, and go out on a walk. Or listen to some music that really just hyp you up. Um, listen to an audiobook that takes you literally into a different world. When I go on a walk and I listen to an audiobook, it's like I'm transported somewhere else, and my brain actually does get that break that alcohol used to give me. Alcohol used to be the only way I could just get a break for my thoughts, and that's why I loved it so much and used it so often to turn off my brain. But a walk is like literally the same thing. I mean, obviously it's not the same thing, um, but it does that magic of turning off your brain and just giving yourself a break. It's beautiful. Also, if we're talking like brain chemistry or whatever, I'm not a scientist, okay? But I know that when you move your body, you release endorphins. And I think that's why actually a lot of people who get sober kind of well, I've seen I've seen a pattern of people getting almost addicted to the gym. I do think fitness is really good, but people can kind of transition their alcohol addiction or whatever you want to call it into a fitness addiction because it does release like that chemical endorphin, and you feel almost a high sometimes. And, you know, transfer addictions aren't great, but a walk is like a lower level of fitness that's like really for the mental health, and you're in that zone two fitness, you're not running, you're not lifting super heavy, you're just out there moving your body, and I think it's really, really healthy and just like balances your brain chemistry. You just feel so even keel after a walk. And I know it sounds psycho, like to be so obsessed with walking, but I truly believe that it is medicine for us when we are really struggling and at our lowest, alcohol or I'm sorry, walking is that medicine. So, kind of similar to what I was saying earlier about doing something with your hands or like transitioning that energy almost from your brain and being so in your head out your fingertips into something else, is like using your mouth as well. Okay. When I quit drinking alcohol, I ate so many sunflower seeds. Like, this is kind of nasty, but I would get a cup and a bag of sunflower seeds and like not even be outside, just be in my house sitting on the couch, watching TV with a bag of sunflower seeds and a cup that I was spitting them into. That rhythmic uh motion, I guess, of grabbing some seeds, putting them in your mouth, like working through them with your mouth, spitting them out, it was it was soothing for me. And it kind of mimicked that always having a drink, like sipping, sipping, sipping, sipping all day long, all night long. And sunflower seeds were kind of similar for me, like they really, really worked. So if you're into sunflower seeds and you're early in your sobriety, like those were a winner. I know that some people talk about gum as well, but I think it was for me like the hand-to-mouth motion. I know people who used to smoke talk about that a lot. That sunflower seeds are helpful because it's that same hand-to-mouth motion of smoking a cigarette. So, or like vaping or whatever, you're constantly hand-to-mouth, hand to mouth. So, like nobody talks about this, I feel like, but sunflower seeds are really, really helpful if you're able to enjoy those, if you know how to chew sunflower seeds. And again, anything with your hands. So I love to turn on a show and do something with my hands also. It all it kind of makes me like able to watch the show when I'm in that super fidgety, hyperactive, like can't get out of my head mode. I love doing a jigsaw puzzle. You can do a coloring book, like an adult coloring book. Get yourself a nice pack of markers and have your coloring book at the ready when you're watching TV or something. I think any sort of arts and crafts, I remember I I loved like making things, DIYing things for occasions. I went to Mardi Gras early in my sobriety, which is crazy and psychotic. What was I thinking? Um, but oddly, this is a whole other topic, but oddly, I almost liked being around people who were drinking when I wasn't because it made me feel like affirmed in my decision. I was like, I feel proud of myself. I'm not doing what they're doing, and I know that's a little crazy and weird, but um, it helped me a little bit. So alas, what was I saying? So before I went to Mardi Gras, I bought the or I thrifted this like purple denim jacket, and I sewed on there. They were supposed to look like tassels, but I did beads, so I would cut these beads and do like little kind of cowboy tassels with Mardi Gras beads, and I sewed them onto the jacket um strand by strand until they covered the entire back and arms of the jacket. It took forever, but I loved it. It gave me a project to work on. Every day I had something to look forward to, and it was just like melodic. I I would work on that for hours and hours and hours, and the time would just pass without me even like realizing. I would stay up until my eyes were burning out of my skull at like 3 a.m. Because I've been just staring at this jacket while reruns of Housewives or something is on in the background, like or HGTV or something, like something that I was hardly even watching. It was just good background TV, and I would just dive into these projects and I would hyperfixate on it for hours and hours and hours and hours. I made a cowboy hat. Um, I hot glued uh jewels all over the cowboy hat, like one by one by one. It took so long, but I loved a long-term project. That's why I always say it's good to have a show in early sobriety, like a show that you can look forward to every night. Not one where you have to wait a week for the next episode to come out, but like something that gives you something to look forward to. I love Breaking Bad. It's my favorite TV show of all time. I also love Money Heist. There are some good shows with like many, many seasons that kind of leave you on the edge of your seat. And I think it's fun in the beginning of sobriety to always have a show to look forward to. You don't have to sit there and flick through all the different streaming services trying to find something that you want to watch. It's like you know that you have another episode of your show that you're gonna watch when you get home. And so what I'm saying with that is having something long-term, a long-term project that could be yard work. Another thing I did in the beginning of sobriety, the very beginning, by the way, was yard work. We moved into this new place, which is so funny because I ended up breaking that lease like a month and a half into it. So embarrassing, but you know, it's all led me to where I am today. Um, but I'm in this new condo or whatever, and we have a little bit of a yard, like a garden almost, and I'm ripping out bushes. I'm watching YouTube videos on how to remove a bush that's so deep into the ground. I'm digging, I'm shoveling, I'm going to Home Depot four times a day. And I just got addicted to it. I was doing all sorts of house projects, painting and sanding and sweeping and creating and hanging lights, and I just I just dove into that. I was like, I I don't know, maybe it's the ADHD type of stuff where I get just so hyper-fixated on something, but I think a little hyperfixation in early sobriety isn't so bad. It kept me going. It gave me something to live for when I was really, really struggling. I was like, I'm just gonna dive into this project, and I loved it. It really kept me sane when I felt like I was going nuts, when my body was physically like going through withdrawals, and I I mostly experienced the the fidgety hyperactivity, can't stand or can't sit still, can't like watch a show or anything. I needed to be moving at all times, and um that was kind of the more withdrawals that I had rather than like getting sick and stuff. I I more just dealt with I can't sit still. And so these projects really helped me. So whatever you can find that is like a project to do with your hands. It can be artwork, it can be yard work, it can be anything. But the jigsaw puzzles, coloring books, something like that, and have a show that you're watching long term. Those are just some random tips and the sunflower seeds, random tips that have like really helped me move through cravings. Not these big ideas like how to move through a craving, but little tiny tangible things that have really, really helped me. And then, of course, walking, like I've hammered in this episode. I love a walk so much. So just know, as you're working through these cravings, like it happens to all of us. It happens to the best of us. They're hard and it's part of sobriety. It they're gonna happen. And all we can do is learn from them and push through. Also, this might sound a little bit harsh, okay, but it it's what's worked for me this whole time. I when I'm having a craving, it's like, yeah, I can be craving alcohol. I can recognize that that is happening, but alcohol is never an option. Period. I can be thinking about alcohol, I can say, oh, alcohol would be nice to have in this moment. This is reminding me of alcohol, whatever I'm experiencing. Very interesting, right? It's all data. But alcohol, actually taking the drink was never an option. That wasn't actually something that I even let into my ether as a possibility. I could think about it all I wanted, I could crave it, but it wasn't like, should I actually have that drink? That was not an option. And so when people ask me, and I and absolutely no judgment, because I know that relapses are a part of a lot of people's journeys and everything, and um maybe one relapse led them to their 20 years of sobriety or whatever. Like, I understand that relapses happen, but for me, I I never allowed it to be an option. No matter how bad things got, it wasn't like, should I have that drink after all? It wasn't something I was considering. It was just like, this is really hard. This is making me think about alcohol. I'm struggling right now. I feel like I need alcohol, but it wasn't actually reaching and grabbing that drink. That that wasn't a possibility, and I didn't even allow it to be a thought in my head. It was never to drink or not to drink. It was just like, how am I gonna work through this really strong craving that I'm having right now? How am I gonna stay sober? It wasn't, should I drink? That was not a thought. So again, maybe that's a little extreme, but it helps me mentally. So if it helps me, maybe it can help you. You can think about alcohol all you want, you can crave it all you want, you can go through hard times in sobriety, you will go through hard times in sobriety. But alcohol isn't an option. It's not, should I pick up a drink? No. That's that's not even in the possible it's not even a possibility, if that makes any sense. So I don't know if I'm explaining that very well, but if that helps you wrap your mind around it, like it's not an option, that helped me a lot. So, like times can be hard, but we're never gonna reach for that drink, right? It's not to drink or not to drink. It's always a no, always and forever. So there's that. And if you're having a craving today, feel free to come back to this episode. Save this episode for when you are having a craving. This episode was almost exactly 30 minutes. We just hit the 30 minute mark. So if you listen to this during a craving, you should have already worked through it. Congratulations, you're still sober. You will never regret not picking up that drink. You will always be so proud of yourself for staying sober. So, well done. Love you guys, and I will see you for the next episode. Bye.