Days 1-7 of sobriety | tips for the first week

In today’s episode, we’re diving into the first 7 days of sobriety, and why it can feel a little… weird. Everything is different, your routines are shifting, and your mind is adjusting -but it’s all building toward something so worth it. Think of this first week as sobriety boot camp: you’re learning a new way of living, one moment at a time. This episode is packed with practical tips and real-life strategies to help you navigate early sobriety and actually stick with it.

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Transcript

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The first week of sobriety was so weird. Notice how I didn't say difficult, but I said weird. I think people talk about how hard it is and how much willpower it requires, and I get that, but it was just weird because I did not know how to spend my time. I was always used to having a certain amount of hours in the day, and then when you quit drinking, your time basically doubles. You get to the evening and you're like, what do I actually do with myself? I used to just drink every night, and that was my activity. I didn't have to have anything else on the agenda. You talk about the weekends. What is there to do other than go out to the bars, um, sit at the sports bar and watch a sports game? Like, I didn't know who I was without alcohol, and those first seven days were really, really weird. So today we're gonna talk about the identity shift that happens in the first seven days and how you can fill your time and thrive in early sobriety. And before we jump in, I just want to say a quick thank you to everybody who responded to my request for some insight on the ADHD medications in our last episode. I got so many people emailing me and DMing me, and I really, really appreciate it because hearing from you guys and your firsthand experience is just so much more valuable than anything I could read about online. Or like if you go to the doctor, they give you one perspective. Like, I don't know, maybe I'm a little woo-woo, but I sometimes believe that doctors are like paid to push certain things. And so when I heard about all of your experiences, at least when I see a doctor, if I do, then I will have all that information to back me up. And I'll know that there are different options, not just one option. So anyway, I really appreciate everyone who reached out. And if I didn't directly respond, just know that I saw your message and I appreciate your insight so so much. You guys are amazing. So let's get into today's episode topic, which is those first seven days. It's a weird time. One experience that I had was the restlessness. We, or at least I, used to spend my evenings drinking every single day. It was either at home drinking on the couch, literally wasting my life away, or I would go to the bar and I would watch some sports game that I don't care about, or play the stupid video games that are at the bar. Like I just wasted my evenings away. And so when I got sober, first of all, I felt like my time had doubled. So I was like, whoa, this is a lot of hours in the day. And I have a lot of episodes talking about this feeling of an abundance of time. It's very weird. In the beginning, it feels like a curse, and deeper into sobriety, it feels like the biggest blessing. But just having that extra time feels very weird, and then not knowing how to spend it. I don't even know how to put this into words, but if you've experienced this, you know, hopefully you can relate. It's like time would just pass. When I was drinking, time would just pass. I didn't have to have any plans. I didn't have to enjoy who I was spending my time with. I didn't have to enjoy what I was watching. Like time just passed. I was barely even living. It was like the evening would just be eliminated. A lot of times it would be eliminated from my memory. My memory was so bad when I was drinking. But yeah, I just, I just drank away my evenings. And then when I got sober, I was like, how do I spend this time? I did a lot of yard work, I did a lot of housework, um, I got into like arts and crafts, I found things to do with my hands. I kept very busy because I was just so hyperactive and restless. And eventually the desire to relax really kicks in. Like you can't be go, go, go, go, go all the time forever, or you'll go crazy. And one thing that really helped me is always having a show to look forward to. Like, always be watching a show. I know that sounds weird, but like pick a series, maybe like a breaking bad or friends or something survivor, like with a lot of seasons. And like always know that you have that to fall back on. If you haven't watched one of those iconic TV shows like Dexter, Breaking Bad, you know, those types of shows that are so iconic, dive into one of those. And that way, you don't have to decide what to watch each night. You just know that you have your little show to look forward to. This helps in so many different aspects of sobriety. So that's why I'm so passionate about it. Like when you're out at a social event or something and you're sober and you're like, all these people are getting pretty tipsy and we're just on different levels, and I think I gotta go home. It's like going home sounds a lot more appealing when you think about, okay, I'm gonna watch my show while I take off my makeup and like get into my pajamas. And you just have that show like anchoring your evening. It makes a relaxing night at home feel a lot more enjoyable without alcohol. And it gives you a reason to be home because I think that was a big part of it too. When I quit drinking, I didn't want to be at home because that's that was such a triggering place for me. The place I drank the most and drank the most problematically was at home by myself. And so I kind of was just out of the house. Like I was always on walks, I would go to the mall, I would like be outside. Um, I didn't want to be just like sitting at home, especially not by myself. And so if you have a little show to look forward to, it just helps with all of that. And if you need, in the beginning, like me, a little fidget toy or something like that to keep your focus during the show, then dive into that because I struggle to just sit there and watch a show. I still struggle with this to this day, if I'm being honest, but you can like do a jigsaw jigsaw puzzle while you watch. You can literally play with a fidget toy. You can be doing like a mindless coloring book. Um, there's lots of little things that you can do with your hands. I mean, sometimes I just play with an object, like a hair tie or some trapstick or something, like clicking the lid, and that just helps me focus on the show. I maybe that's too granular, maybe that's an ADHD thing, but if you're struggling to just sit and relax and focus on a TV show in the evenings, then maybe try, you know, fidgeting with something, using your hands while watching the show. So another reason that those first seven days are hard is because, or weird, that's the word we're using. Weird is because your sleep is off. Like everybody talks about sleep getting so good in sobriety, right? Like, I have multiple episodes about this. I feel like I have cracked the code to sleep with my sobriety, but it wasn't like that right away. I was like jet lagged almost. Like I could not fall asleep because I used to use alcohol as my sleep medication, basically. Like I would drink myself to sleep every single night. Almost every single night without fail, I would be watching a show and drinking. I'd fall asleep, usually with a drink in my hand. Like I passed out every night drinking, and then at around 2 or 3 a.m. I would peel myself off the couch and move to the bedroom. That was my routine. That is literally what I did every single night. And I used alcohol to fall asleep. And so when I got sober, my body didn't know how to fall asleep. I don't think I had any sleep cues other than passing out from alcohol. Like my body wasn't, you know, it didn't have that circadian rhythm going with the sunlight. And, you know, a few hours after your last meal, you start to get tired, or um, I don't know, just various wind-down cues that we have. In the beginning of my sobriety, I just didn't have that because I had so relied on alcohol, and I just didn't even know how to get to sleep without it. So I told myself, I just knew that it was gonna be temporary. There was something in me that said, this is not forever, like this is temporary. And so I just kind of made the most of it. And I would stay up late and I'd be working on projects, whether that's work or home projects or yard work with my headlamp on in the backyard. Like, I just dove into being productive because I was like, this isn't gonna be like this forever, right? So just I I just said dive in. And if I'm gonna be awake, I may as well be doing something. If I woke up extremely early, I would just wake up and start doing something. May as well make the most of that time that you're awake. Some people say that in the beginning of their sobriety they are like painfully tired all the time. And I think this is where it's just like everybody's body is different. Some people are gonna be exhausted, some people are gonna be so hyperactive and restless. That was me. And I think my biggest tip for this in the beginning is to just let your body adjust and understand that this is not forever. However, you're feeling, whether you're just so tired and have to take multiple naps throughout the day, or you're so wired and you can't even think about sleep, just understand that it's not forever and your body is adjusting. And that's really all we can do is just understand that this is temporary and embrace it for what it is. Because eventually, this work that you're putting in now, or like this, I mean, I don't want to call it suffering, but this unenjoyable sleep cycle that you're in in the beginning, it will pay off in the end because sleep gets so good for most people in sobriety, unless you have underlying actual sleep issues, like your sleep will get better without alcohol involved. And speaking of peeling myself off the couch at 2 or 3 a.m., one of my favorite parts about sobriety is sleeping all the way through the night. Like the only time that I occasionally wake up in the middle of the night is if I chugged water before bed and like have to use the bathroom. Otherwise, there's nothing waking me up. I sleep all the way through the night, every single night. And that is such a blessing. I I personally believe that even a small amount of alcohol does more to our sleep than we realize. I don't know if it's like a blood sugar thing where your body's like, I need more of that, or if you're you're drinking all day like I was, your body's like, where's the alcohol? We're deprived of of booze. Um, I don't know, but I do believe that even a small amount of alcohol is bad for your sleep. People call it a nightcap and say that, like, oh, you know, it's my glass of red wine just to go to sleep, or you know, one martini and it just makes me fall asleep. I don't think it gives you as good of sleep as it feels like it does. I feel that it puts you, it pass it makes you pass out. And people talk about, you know, brain doctors on the internet talk about how you don't get that REM sleep going when you are passed out from alcohol. You don't get into that deep, deep sleep that is so needed. That's where the brain repairs itself. We need that REM sleep. And I think that even a couple drinks is going to impact your sleep quality. So anyway, in the beginning of sobriety, you might be feeling out of whack as far as sleep goes. You might be feeling jet lagged, you might be very confused, and it'll be frustrating. You might only sleep four hours some nights, but just know that you are putting in the work now to make it so worth it later. And if you're like me and you're so hyperactive and restless, my advice is to just make the most of it. You're not going to be like this forever. So start that project, clean your house, do a closet clean out, like plant some flowers, do an arts and crafts. I don't know. Like, may as well make the most of it while you're in this state in the very beginning. Another thing about the first seven days is that your cravings are probably gonna be through the roof. I know they were for me. Like, the first the first week, I always say the first week is about building your sobriety toolbox. So you're going to have cravings. That's just that's gonna happen. And I think if we go into it knowing that, it makes it a little bit easier to process. But random things are going to trigger you in the very beginning. And it this was this was an uncomfortable uh realization for me. Like learning what triggers me was shocking. I mean, walking by the kitchen or opening the fridge or taking a shower or taking out the trash or um certain people or certain hours of the day, or a certain spot on the couch, or I don't know, doing laundry, anything. I learned that I have so many random, random triggers throughout the day and throughout my home, and learning those, while it was hard and annoying, um, I looked at them as just building my toolbox. Every single craving that I had, I didn't physically write it down, although I think that's a great strategy if you want to. I just noted it in my head. I noted, okay, that triggers me. That makes me think about alcohol. That person makes me want alcohol. That certain event makes me want alcohol. Um, this makes me think of alcohol. You know, you just you take it all in and you remember these triggering situations or, you know, locations, events, people, whatever. These various things that make you think about alcohol. And what that does is it just makes you prepared for the next time. It also just teaches you about yourself. Are you thinking about alcohol a lot when you're in social situations, when you're out at bars, when you're with certain friends, or are you thinking about alcohol when you're alone, when you're at home, when you're doing mundane tasks, when you're doing fun tasks, when you're sad, when you're happy, when you're frustrated, when you're nervous. Take note of when you think about alcohol, because that will tell you a lot about the type of drinker you were, and those times where you feel a trigger coming on are probably the times that you need to like work on processing that type of emotion, if that makes sense. So, like, for an example, I learned in sobriety very early on that I drank uh to cover my nerves. So, for job interviews or having to talk to my team or um give any sort of public speaking engagement, I would drink for all of those. Alcohol was my nerves medicine. And so when I got sober, I learned very quickly that I no longer have that way to calm my nerves. And instead of just pushing it away and like using willpower, I learned different methods. I learned a breathing technique to help me through these nervous, uh nerve-wracking situations, and it's called box breathing. I talk about this all the time, so I hope I don't sound like a broken record, but it's in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, out for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and repeat. And it literally slows your heart rate. And I would do that before my job interviews, and it just totally calmed my nerves. So what I mean in this category is just recognize when you feel the most triggered to drink. When do your cravings happen? I would say that sad things or frustrating things like negative emotions are when I thought about alcohol a lot too. And I think it hit me really hard in early sobriety because I hadn't even felt sadness in so long. Because I would drink so much to cover those symptoms, those feelings of sadness, that I didn't even know what sadness was. I didn't know how to feel. And I think it's so important in life to feel. Like not every emotion needs to not every emotion needs to be just thrown under the rug. You know, they say like man up, you know, don't think about it too much. There's all these phrases in life that are about ignoring our emotions. And instead, I think it's important for us to feel, recognize, hey, I'm thinking about alcohol because I'm really sad about this situation. Um I need to I need to like feel that emotion and sit with it, and then I can process. I think early sobriety can feel like you are a toddler again, learning how to face the most basic emotions. It can feel like you don't know what to do with your emotions. In fact, I'll never forget at day 30 I was feeling so emotional, like I was on my period or something. Like my emotions were uncontrollable and I was like confused. And I realized, thanks to TikTok and a lot of you guys like telling me, you guys told me that oh, at day 30, like your body's finally adjusting, and you're probably just actually feeling what sadness and stress and frustration actually feels like. And I was like, oh my god, it's heavy. And that's just life, that is what life is. So in the first week, you might be experiencing an emotional roller coaster. But what I want you to do is just recognize throughout your day which emotions and which situations and which people make you want to drink. Note those. Because if you know that generally uh nerve-wracking situations make you want to drink, or sad situations make you want to drink, or your commute really makes you want to drink, if you know ahead of time that certain situations or certain things make you want to drink, then you can prepare better. You can actually take action and do something to uh be better equipped for those triggering situations. You know what's really hard about the first week for a lot of people is that, you know, the first three days might not include this, the first four days might not include this, the first five days might not include this, but the first seven days are going to include a weekend. And for a lot of people, the weekends are the hardest. So my suggestion for battling the weekends, that first weekend in sobriety, my my biggest tip is to make plans for yourself. Be booked and busy, baby. Have stuff on the calendar. It doesn't have to be with other people, although I think that's great if if you're comfortable with that. I very much wanted to do this on my own. I was like just thinking about a lot of things and having all these realizations, and it was just kind of a journey I wanted to be on solo. I had my boyfriend at the time, but I wasn't like trying to hang out with friends or anything in the very beginning. I wanted to just focus on myself. And so, what can a packed schedule look like if you're just wanting to hang out with yourself only? Well, you can book yourself a nail appointment and you can get your hair done, and you can go for a walk and get your favorite bubble tea, and you can go to the mall and stock up on, you know, underwear at Victoria's Secret and get yourself a new pair of socks from wherever you get socks from. You can go to the grocery store and do some grocery shopping, maybe put on the schedule, like you're gonna make this really fun dessert that you saw on TikTok, or you're gonna make this certain thing for dinner, and like that is a plan. And then you're gonna watch this movie and you're gonna have popcorn and for dessert you're gonna have this. Like, plan out your day to the tea, and it makes you feel like you have to be somewhere. It makes you feel needed. Like w when we were drinkers, we would plan to go out with our friends and like go out to the bar, and uh, I need to go buy booze. Like, we had our plan for the weekend. I'm gonna be hungover on Sunday, so I'm gonna order food and just watch TV or whatever your weekend looked like. In sobriety, keep yourself busy because one of the most triggering situations for newly sober people is when you don't know what to do with your time. And Again, that's why I say always have a show that you're watching because it gives you something to look forward to. But also, you don't just want to be sitting at home twiddling your thumbs thinking, what should I do with my day? I still struggle with this. And but what I do is I open my notes app every single night, by the way. I open my notes app and I write, tomorrow, colon. This, this, this, this, this. I write everything that I will be doing. And it's not just big work tasks, okay? It is small tasks, even the really basic ones like brushing your teeth, taking a shower, those are all worked into my schedule. And they're in a specific order so that I don't forget to do them. Or I don't sit there with analysis paralysis, not knowing what to do. So I really schedule out my days, and I think that the weekends are really important uh to do this for in early sobriety. So for your Saturday, write down each and every one of your plans, even if you're by yourself, even if you don't want to spend money. It can be a closet clean out and then going to Goodwill to drop them off and then looking around, or um it can be doing your own nails at home. It can be walking to this landmark and back-really anything. Listening to this specific podcast episode on your walk. Like you can really plan out a full weekend for yourself and make it feel amazing and fun. I think it's important to make it feel amazing and fun in early sobriety because you don't want to be thinking, what's everybody else doing? What could I be doing? What would I have been doing if I was drinking? Like, you want to have a fun weekend planned for yourself. Like you are busy, you don't have time to be thinking about alcohol. You don't have time to be sitting at home wondering if you should crack open a drink. No, no, no, no, no. We are keeping busy, and even if it's a day full of what seems like nothing, you're writing that schedule out fully from start to finish. And you're gonna have an amazing weekend and you're gonna make it through the weekend. You're not just gonna make it through, you are going to thrive. You understand me? Okay. This first week of sobriety is not about being perfect. It's not about having it all figured out, it's not about reinventing yourself and going on a, you know, nutrition journey and fitness journey and getting into all these different things all at once and trying new hobbies and becoming an artist and starting a business and that stuff will come. But slow and steady, okay? Another tip that I have is to take it easy. Be easy on yourself. With my sober journey, I quit drinking, and then four months later, I started going to the gym. And then two months after that, I started getting interested in nutrition and started implementing a bit more protein into my diet. It was slow and steady, and I was gentle with myself. I think if I was like, I am changing my life, I am quitting drinking, I'm getting skinny, I'm working out, I'm eating healthy, like I would have gone insane. There's so many things in life, there's so many voices in our head and on the internet that are like drink your water, take your creatine, put lotion on, like do your hair this way, don't do this, do this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Eat this, don't eat that. There's so many things. There's so many things to think about. And when you quit drinking, your one job is to not drink alcohol. That is what you are focused on. Take inventory of how you're feeling, take inventory of which situations trigger you. We are just learning. And not drinking is the win. You don't need to do anything else on top of that. Do what you want to do, but take it easy because you don't want to burn out. Just like anything in life, if you go too hard too fast, you will burn out. And so when you quit drinking, your one job is to stay sober. Do not drink alcohol. That is your job. I remember one thing I did was I drank so many diet sodas, like you wouldn't even believe. I drank like so many sodas, and I drank them at all hours of the day because I told myself, I used to drink alcohol in the morning, so I can have a diet coke in the morning if I want to. And what I told myself is as long as it's not alcohol, okay, there is such thing, there's such a thing as transfer addiction, so obviously be careful of that. Transfer addictions can be in the form of weed, other drugs, sugar, all sorts of things. So what I just what I'm saying is stay sober. That's your job for the beginning. Don't try to do everything all at once. You will burn out. Focus on staying sober, listen to your body, take inventory of your feelings. And on a different note, in the first week of sobriety, speaking of sugar cravings, yeah, you might be experiencing some sugar cravings in the very beginning. I would have some desserts on hand. Healthy desserts are the move. You got cotton candy grapes, you stick them in the freezer, they're like ice cream. It's amazing. You can get Nick's ice cream, you can get Yazzo ice cream, you can get protein pints ice cream. Amazing sweet treats to have on hand that are not too bad for you. Love that. I also like eating dates with a little peanut butter and a few chocolate chips. There's some healthy desserts out there that are great, but you probably will be craving sugar in the beginning of sobriety. Speaking of weird, it's very weird that that happens. But yeah, something to do with alcohol and your system metabolizes as sugar. I don't know the science behind it. If you do, let me know. But for some reason, when you quit drinking, you crave sugar. It's so random and weird, but be prepared for that. And the first seven days, I'm not saying it's gonna be a walk in the park, but you can do it. Make it through that first seven days. Do it for yourself. You deserve to meet your sober self, and we are not giving up that easy. So push through those first seven days. They're gonna be weird. The first seven days are just weird. You're learning so much about yourself. And congrats to you. This is a beautiful journey you're embarking on. The first seven days are weird, but if anyone can do it, it's you. So stick with it and love you guys. See you for the next episode. Bye.