10 sober hacks you need to know

Jumping on (solo) to give you some of my most random, but useful hacks for sobriety :) I call these "hacks" because they're super small little things that only time and experience could have revealed. I don't hear a lot of other people talking about these, so hopefully they can help somebody out there -because I know they've helped me.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to the Sober Scoop. I hope you guys enjoyed our first interview episode last week, or not last week, last episode, with Jessica from A Sober Girls Guide. We're gonna be having more interviews on the pod, and I'm so excited. We have some awesome ones lined up. I cannot wait for you guys to hear from these amazing people and also hear somebody else's voice other than mine, because we gotta mix it up a little, right? But for today's episode, you're stuck with just me, little old me, okay? Uh but I am going to give you 10 rapid fire hacks for sobriety. These are hacks. These are things that took me so long to discover, like random, random little things that have really helped me on my sobriety. Some of them you may have heard before, some of them you definitely have not. So, without further ado, let's get right into today's episode. Welcome to the Sober Scoop. This is the judgment-free zone where we talk about how to get sober and stay sober. You're not alone. I hope you feel seen. Okay, the first hack that I have for you is to wear sunglasses when you are at like a club or a dance party or something like that. I mean, I have done this for weddings, I've done this for bachelorette parties, anytime where I guess it's like dark or you're dancing, people are getting drunk. Like, I wearing sunglasses makes me feel altered. It makes me feel like, woohoo! I don't even know how to describe it, but don't knock it till you try it. And also, it's a fun conversation piece. Like, people are always wanting to try them on, or like you wear them upside down. It's just fun things always happen when I wear my sunglasses out. And then also just for myself, it feels it makes me feel like I can just dance like nobody's watching. Do you know what I mean? Like alcohol gives you that liquid confidence and that uh social, what do they call it, social lubricant. I feel like wearing sunglasses kind of just makes you feel altered. It makes you feel like you can just go a little harder with your dancing and have fun and be carefree, whip your hair around. I don't know. It is fun. And since we're not altering ourselves with alcohol, it's kind of fun to feel altered by wearing sunglasses and like having it be darker. I don't know how to describe it, but it works. And more people have tried this since I've started talking about this, and they also agree that it works. So trust us on this one, okay? Number two is to leave on a high note. When we are not drinking, we sometimes cannot go for as long as the other people at the event, okay? So we're or sorry, drinking people love to do the same thing for long periods of time and they are just okay with it. In sobriety, we like to keep things moving, right? We like to be intentional with our time. And so even if we show up to something, we show up to the party, bachelorette party, wedding, whatever, or somebody's birthday, anything. We show up and we're already like putting that effort in. We don't need to drag it out for hours and hours and hours and hours so that we never ever want to do something like that again, unless you're having a great time. But that's why I call it leaving on a high note. Actually, it's my mom's fame famous line. Um, she's the one who says that all the time. And I just totally agree. You want to leave when you're still having fun, when you still have a good taste in your mouth from the night. Because if you try to drag it out and like keep up with everybody else, you're not gonna wanna go out to those types of events later because you're gonna be like, that was miserable. These people are consuming alcohol and maybe other things that keeps them going all night long. And as sober people, often we cannot keep up. Maybe you can, good for you. But a lot of sober people, it's more like you want to come for an hour, two hours, and then it's like, okay, that was fun. I'm I'm ready to go home. And that actually leads me to what I had as number seven, but I'm gonna bump it right up to number three. And that is to romanticize your mornings instead of your evenings, if that makes sense. Actually, you know what? For this thought, I'm kind of thinking of romanticizing the evening too, but what it is is like your routine, your your evening wine down, your morning cup of coffee, like romanticize those moments. I had this written down as romanticizing your mornings, because it's like, oh, you want to get home, you want to get to sleep so that you can wake up and have your coffee, go on your walk, like do whatever you do in the morning, your morning stretches. But actually, it's about romanticizing your evening as well. Like when I'm out and about, yes, I'm thinking about I want to wake up in the morning like alert and awake and excited for my coffee and all that stuff, but I'm also thinking about the evening. I'm thinking about how I want to get home and watch my show. I've just been socializing with all these people, and now I just want to watch one episode of the show that I'm watching. I want to take off my makeup. I want to drink uh sparkling water, I want to get into my pajamas, uh, take a shower, maybe a hot shower while I'm watching a show, because of course I have a phone mount in my shower, which is that's a life hack too, but nothing to do with sobriety, really. Um ADHD so that I actually want to take showers. That's that's a whole other story. Um, am I rambling? A little bit. Yes. Okay. Um, romanticize your mornings, romanticize your evenings, and when you're out and about, think about that. Think about how you want to get in your jammies, watch your show, have your sparkling water, whatever, you know, wets your whistle, whatever gets you going. Look forward to that stuff. And I have mastered my coffee recipe to where I do literally go to sleep looking forward to my coffee. If you're interested, it's on my main Instagram page, which is at IndiaGance. That's my name, by the way, if you didn't know it. But anyway, it is honey in the cup. Then you put the espresso shot in. It's hot. You mix it up, the honey melts right in. You add a pinch of salt, it bites the taste of the espresso, or it cuts the bite from the espresso. Does that make sense? Anyway, honey, espresso, salt. Then I add one part vanilla protein shake. I do about half a vanilla protein shake, and half almond milk and add ice, and there you go, for the most delicious protein coffee you have ever tried in your life. It's so, so good. I'm low-key addicted to it, but not actually, because we don't throw around that word around here. Okay. That got me thinking, I feel like I need to do a refresher episode on ADHD. Hello, I have undiagnosed ADHD. I'm not interested in getting a diagnosis because I'm not interested in going on medication. That's my story there. But I have instead learned um, I guess you could call it like behavioral strategies, methods to dealing with ADHD through podcasts, YouTube, just my own research, and it's been so, so helpful. And kind of similar to this episode, I've learned so many life hacks. Like, I know this sounds pathetic and it makes me emotional every time I talk about it, so I'm not gonna think too much about it. But one of the struggles that I have with the ADHD stuff is like I really I don't like personal hygiene. I know that sounds horrible, but I hate brushing my teeth. I hate taking off my makeup at night. I hate showering. I know, it's crazy. But I have learned hacks to help with that, like keeping these to-go toothbrush things, like one use little things, by my bedside table. I keep makeup wipes at my bedside table so that I can do it when I'm literally in bed. I put a phone mount in my shower so that I can uh have that as my reward. Like I get to watch TV if I get in the shower and take a shower. Anyway, it's a little embarrassing to talk about that. I have good hygiene, okay? I just don't enjoy doing the things you have to do to be hygienic. I find it so boring. I find all chores boring, but also just the hygiene stuff for some reason is hard for me. And that's a very common ADHD experience, so I know I'm not alone, but it's still embarrassing for me to talk about a little bit. Um, okay. Moving on, maybe I'll do an episode about that. Or also we're gonna have a a guest on the show to talk about ADHD. So I'm super excited about that as well. Let's get back to the list, okay? Hacks for sobriety. Number three, you've heard me talk about this seven million times, so I'm sorry. But stock your fridge with non-alcoholic beverages, make your fridge look like a vending machine for whatever mood you're in, whatever taste you're wanting. You want to open that fridge and have something to suit your fancy. You want to get excited about other drinks. Like you're not just limited to water and juice or like water and tea when you get sober. There are plenty of fun drinks. So give yourself tons of options, just like drinkers get to choose from everything in the world. You should get to choose, as a non-drinker, what you're in the mood for. You shouldn't be forced to only have water because that's boring, and that that's bad PR for sobriety. Um, there are so many fun drinks to have. So find the ones that you like and get so many of them so that you never run out and your fridge is always stocked. Maybe get on like a subscription thing on Amazon or something, so it just shows up at your door on a regular basis. Okay. Anyway, number four. Always have, or I guess this would be number five now, because we already switched number three. Who cares? Number five, always have a drink in your hand. Uh that's for when you're going out and stuff. Like still to this day, nearly two years sober, I feel really awkward when I'm at a party or an event and I don't have a drink in my hand. It is like a security blanket. It really is. Even though I haven't drank in almost two years, I still like the motion of having a drink while holding a conversation, if that makes sense. Like it's just my it's my emotional support beverage or something, even if it's just sparkling water, soda, or whatever. Just having a glass and something to hold, it's like a prop. Because sometimes I feel like I'm cosplaying or something when I'm at a party because everybody's drunk and woohoo, and I'm the only sober person, and I'm like, where am I? What am I doing? And my I I feel like an actor sometimes, and my drink is my prop for the scene. Okay. We got number six, and I love this one. This is one of my favorite things about being sober. Drive yourself to events. So you're going to a party, right? And you're supposed to show up at 9:30 p.m. and everybody's Ubering because they're gonna be drinking, but not you, you're gonna drive. Of course, always be safe, and you know, as they say, nothing good happens after midnight, so be safe out there. Um, in general, whether you're a sober person or not, like always be safe on the roads. Okay. Um, yeah, driving yourself to nighttime events feels so empowering. First of all, you can leave whenever you want and just drive yourself home, but also, like, you just partied and socialized and whatever, and getting into your own car and like putting on a podcast or the audiobook that you're listening to and driving yourself home, I I don't even know how to describe it. There is no better feeling. That is one of my favorite things about being sober, and I never have to worry about the complications of getting home when you're planning to drink. Like, I I always think of the time that, or the times that I would go to the Dodgers games. And I moved really, really far away from Dodgers Stadium, like even more, um, never eat soggy waffles, even more west of Los Angeles. And so it was like two hours to get to the Dodgers games. And we were always like, that is gonna be the most expensive Uber. So what are we gonna do? Are we gonna Uber? Is somebody gonna not drink? If they're gonna drive home, like at what hour do they need to stop drinking? How many drinks can they be limited to? Like, we just played so many games. There were so many mental gymnastics in trying to figure out how we were gonna get to this event and get home safely after drinking. And that's just so dumb. Like, I love that that thought is not in my mind anymore as a sober person. I just drive myself no matter what. I drive myself and I know I'm gonna be able to drive myself home. I'm not gonna accidentally get too drunk. I'm not gonna have to leave my car overnight. The the number of times I had to do that, where I would leave my car somewhere randomly in the city because I drank more than I thought I was going to, and now I can't get home. Well, when you're sober, you can always get home. And I love that so much. And also volunteer to be the DD if you're comfortable with that. I think it's pretty cool to like drive four people home who have been drinking, and their safety is in your hands, and you don't drink, and you feel empowered and like you're doing charity work for the drunkies, and I think it's a good feeling, personally. This'll be number seven. Take long walks. I talk about this all the time. So there's another one that's like broken record, we've heard it before, but as a reminder, take walks and long ones. Whenever I would have a craving, I would go on a walk and it would always do me good. Like I just, anytime I was in a funk and I was like depressed or thinking, what am I doing? or doubting my sobriety or having these cravings, even if I didn't feel like going on a walk, even if a walk was the last thing that I wanted to do, I had so much proof that it works that I couldn't deny it. I just knew that I had to do it. And it's like I I would get myself all ready and I would head out the door, and I really didn't want to, but once I get moving, it's like I reach a flow state. I am listening to a podcast that I love, I'm getting my steps in, I'm like smiling at people that I'm passing, the sun is in my eyes, like it just feels so good. It is like a free high. You just leave your house and start walking. It's so nice and I love it. And if uh the outdoors are not possible for you, luckily we're heading into spring soon, but there's always the treadmill, and you can like watch a good show while you're on the treadmill or something. I think that is a great way to do things as well and like get your body moving. Number eight, I just made a TikTok about this, but um, if you ever want to feel bad in sobriety, which I do sometimes, because I used to like bring alcohol to kids' soccer games and into the nail salon and into church. That's right. You heard that, right? I brought alcohol into the Catholic Church and drank during mass. It's true. Uh yeah, not my proudest moment, but yes, I always used to sneak alcohol into places. I loved like being tipsy when you shouldn't be tipsy. I loved being tipsy when my co-workers didn't know I was, when my family didn't know I was, when my friends didn't know I was. I loved be having a little buzz showing up for a coffee date. Like I loved doing something that felt a little bad. So if you want to feel that bad feeling in sobriety, or that that good bad feeling, if you know what I mean, number one is you can have a soda in the morning. That feels illegal. It feels like you should not be doing it. But you crack into that Diet Mountain Dew first thing in the morning, and whoo, that scratches that itch of like I shouldn't be doing this. It's pretty fun, and like obviously try not to get in the habit of doing that long term, but soda doesn't have the same effects as alcohol, okay? And I go for diet. Um, so hopefully I'm not getting addicted to sugar in the process. It hasn't been an issue so far, but obviously be mindful of that. Transfer addictions are a thing. But you get the idea. Having a soda in the morning when you're not supposed to just feels bad. Also, I think it's kind of that like breaking the expectations of time, the norms of time. So something like having breakfast for dinner also works too. Like, I'll make pancakes at night and it just feels like I'm not supposed to be doing this. Or like I mean, uh like my parents wouldn't like me doing this. It's almost like I'm going back to my childhood or something, and it's like, ooh, like I can have candy or soda for breakfast and pancakes for dinner. You know what I mean? It just feels like I shouldn't be doing it. Like that's bad. And it feels good. It does scratch that itch for me. So there's a couple things if if you want to feel bad also. Number nine is to focus on the food and drink or sorry, the food and desserts instead of focusing on alcohol. So for me at least, I would obsess over alcohol, and my mind was just constantly thinking about like where can I get the next drink? How many have I had? Um, I mean, the thoughts were going at a hundred miles an hour all the time. Am I gonna lose my buzz? Do I need to pack some drinks? Are there not gonna be enough there? Do I need to pregame? What do I need to leave so that I can go drink by myself at home? Alcohol was at the center of my life, and it was always about the alcohol. And I feel like I never paid attention to the food or the desserts because I didn't care. I wouldn't want to waste my calories on food or desserts. I just wanted to drink my calories. And so now in sobriety, at any event, I focus my energy on the food and desserts, and I actually try things. I'm like, oh my god, who brought the biscotti? Like, oh, who who brought this cute these cute little cookies? Um, who brought the deviled eggs? And you try stuff, and it's so fun. I say deviled eggs because we got Easter coming up, and I'm thinking that like there's gonna be alcohol present, obviously, and I'm excited to like have some candy, have the carrot cake that I know somebody is bringing, like have fun with the deviled eggs. Maybe I'll do a little deviled egg flight. You know, we just gotta we we not we gotta keep things interesting, we get to keep things interesting with food and desserts instead of alcohol. There are so many more interesting things to enjoy than just booze. How boring to have alcohol at the center of your life when there are all these amazing things to try. I used to look at these spreads at holidays and stuff, and I'm like, oh my god, how fun, but like I'd rather have a course light. And now, like, I want to try everything. It's so fun. So dive into that instead of diving into alcohol. It's a good time, I swear. And number 10 is to create a reward system for yourself, and this applies to so many different things. I know for a lot of people like myself, I used to drink alcohol to get through really mundane tasks. And so instead of like using alcohol to get through those tasks, you create a reward for yourself. So, like I I've had laundry freaking sitting in the dryer for like a week and a half at this point that I really, really should do. And I've just been taking the socks out when I need them, taking my undies out when I need them. So this is partially a note to self. Like, I would normally crack open a drink, and that would be my motivation to do the laundry. It's like, oh, I can drink while doing it. But now I like there's this movie I really want to watch tonight. So maybe I'll put this into action tonight and say, if I I if I want to watch the movie, I have to do the laundry while I watch. Or like I can I can tie it to that. So in order to watch the movie, I have to be doing the laundry while I do that. It's kind of like the TV mount in my shower. Like, if I want to watch my show, I gotta go take a shower. I gotta shave my legs, whatever the task is that I don't want to do. So create that reward system for yourself. And if we're talking about kind of going out and the hack for that, I always think about like the podcast that I want to listen to on my drive home, or the sh the one episode of my show that I want to watch when I get back home, or like get a pint of ice cream for yourself and you're like, after this party, I'm coming home and I have this to look forward to. Like, make it through the night sober, and I have this to reward myself when I get home. If there is like a crazy wild party that you're like, I'm not comfortable going to that, maybe schedule yourself a spa day to be like, I'm still gonna have an amazing day. I'm not gonna go to this party because it's way too tempting for me to drink, I'm too new in my sobriety. Um, but like on that Saturday, I'm gonna do a spa day instead because I'm staying strong and I'm doing something for myself instead of going to this party. I hope this is making sense, but creating rewards for yourself is so helpful. Reward yourself for staying sober, reward yourself to encourage your yourself to get chores done, like I was talking about with the laundry, the showering, shaving, whatever. Like instead of drinking to get through life, create rewards for doing those things that you would normally drink to get through. One more example of that would be for job interviews. I used to definitely have a beer or maybe two before my job interviews. Thinking back, I'm so embarrassed because I was like, was I slurring my words in those interviews? Is that Why I didn't get any of the jobs? Maybe. But I've talked about this before, but I implemented some breathing techniques. I had to learn that because I my nerves were just like through the roof, like you can't even imagine. Like my heart pounding out of my chest before an interview. I I couldn't even manage. And so I had to learn something else. So I learned the breathing techniques. But something else that I would do, instead of drinking to get through the interview, I would create a reward for myself. So like all I have to do is get through this interview, and then I'm getting my nails done. Or then I get to watch my show. I clearly use TV as my motivator because this is a whole other conversation, but I almost feel like I don't deserve to just sit on the couch and watch TV. That's a whole other thing that comes with sobriety, is like this need for productivity at all hours. I'm like, I have to be doing something while I watch TV. And so I attach tasks that I don't want to do with TV, if that makes sense. It's like I get to watch TV. So I really use TV a lot as my reward system. So I do this interview and I get to watch an hour of my show or I get to watch one episode. Um, do this interview and then I can build my puzzle. I can work on my art project. I can make lunch, like um, I can have another coffee, I can go to Starbucks. That's one that I use a lot too. It's like I really don't want to do this thing, but I can get Starbucks on the way, or I can get Starbucks afterwards. That motivates me a lot as well. I'm gonna get a little cake pop and a little venticarmel macchiato with coconut milk and four shots, yes, you heard that right, and sugar-free vanilla syrup. Yum. So yeah, number 10 was create a reward system for yourself for various tasks. That really, really helps shift the focus from like, I need to drink to get through this, and instead you're focusing on the reward for doing it sober, basically. So thank you for listening. If you're still here with us at the end of the episode, please, if you could leave a rating or a review, I would really, really appreciate it. First of all, I just love to hear your thoughts because I feel like sometimes I feel like I'm talking into a wall. I know you guys are there, but like I love to hear from you and actually hear your thoughts. So if you have time to write a quick review or if you're listening on Spotify, you can leave a comment. Like, I would love to hear from you. I'm also curious about what you thought of the interview podcast, and like if you're down for more interviews, if you prefer just me yapping on here as usual, like I would love to hear from you. So if you have time for a rating or review, that would be awesome. And on another note, don't forget to join our Facebook support group. It is a wonderful supportive community for anyone on their sober journey, whether you are sober curious or 20 years sober or anywhere in between. So feel free to join. It's called the Scoop Troop on Facebook, and the link is in the description if you want to join. And thank you so very much for listening. I love you all so very much. Thanks for being here, and I will see you for the next episode of The Sober Scoop. Goodbye.