Why I don't call myself an Alcoholic or Addict: mini episode

You might notice that I rarely use the words “alcoholic” or “addict” in my episodes -and there’s a reason for that.

In this episode, I’m sharing why I personally don’t identify with these labels, what they mean to me, and why I believe you can be sober without seeing yourself as diseased, sick, or powerless over alcohol.

And to be clear: if these words resonate with you, that’s great! This isn’t about telling you what you should or shouldn’t call yourself. It’s about knowing that you have a choice.

If you’ve ever felt like the traditional language around sobriety didn’t quite fit you, this episode is for you.

More resources: TheSoberScoop.com

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Transcript

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Hello, Scoop Troop. Welcome back to another episode of The Sober Scoop. My name is India Gance, and in today's episode, we're going to be talking about how you may have noticed throughout my episodes that I don't use the words alcoholic or addict to describe myself. And that's a little bit unique in the recovery community because AA often uses the word alcoholic. You have to say, Hi, my name's India, and I'm an alcoholic. Um, addiction is something that that word is just used a lot in the recovery community. You were addicted to alcohol, you had an addiction. And so I want to explain why I personally don't choose to use those words. Sometimes you'll see me using the word alcoholic in an episode title because it's more quick and kind of gets the idea across rather than saying person with a drinking problem. You just say alcoholic. So sometimes for a punchier episode title, I'll use the word alcoholic, but I really steer clear of that word. And I want to dive into why that is, in case, in case you don't feel like alcoholic or addict are the right labels for you. I want to describe or I want to explain to you why I choose not to use them in case you find some comfort in that. Because you can still get sober, you can still recover without identifying as those things. I always say identify as a non-drinker, like take on the identity of somebody who doesn't drink, but I don't use the words alcoholic or addict to do so. So, anyways, I'm probably not making much sense, so let me let me just get right into it, okay? Let's go. So, as you guys know, I did not go to AA, and I just want to throw a PSA out there, first thing, um, that I think AA is a great resource, and I'm not like anti-AA. Okay, I think it's actually great and a wonderful resource, uh a beautiful space for people to find community and lean on others, and I think it helps so many people get sober. So I am not anti-AA at all. I just didn't do it for myself. And part of the reason I didn't was because I kind of like got myself into this mess alone, and so I wanted to get myself out of this mess alone, if that makes any sense. And I know that's kind of like sad or dark, and I I actually see so much value in finding other sober people and connecting with them, but I like secretly had a drinking problem and I kind of secretly wanted to get sober. I wasn't ready to talk about my issues in a group of people. And looking back from my personal situation, I'm glad I didn't. Because some of the things I've learned about AA, while there are so many good things, I I don't resonate with some of the things. And one of those is that they they have you say that you're powerless to alcohol. And I hate that because I am not powerless to alcohol. I had a drinking problem. It was taking over my life, it was ruining my life in a lot of ways, and I quit that thing. Like I got sober and I made a change for myself. And if anything, I feel that I have power over alcohol. It's like my sobriety has empowered me. I feel so good. I feel so proud of myself. And regardless of whether you believe in God or the universe or whoever, like, I don't think that any higher power like got me sober or is keeping me sober. Like, I I did that thing. It was so hard, and I'm so proud of myself for doing it that calling myself powerless to this substance that I successfully quit is not beneficial for me personally. And kind of the same thing for the word alcoholic. Like, I don't know how I feel about this, but maybe I was an alcoholic. Like when I was drinking 15 beers a day and drank in the morning and needed alcohol to function and was hiding my drinking and lying about it to my friends and family. Like looking back, maybe I was an alcoholic. Okay, but am I an alcoholic now? As I'm two years sober? No. Like, I don't have a problem with alcohol, even if I did in the past. I I personally don't like labeling myself with my past self. Like calling myself an alcoholic forever and saying that I had an a problem with alcohol and I I still am that person, it doesn't do me it doesn't, it doesn't positively impact my life to live in the past and call myself this negative thing that focuses on the worst parts, the darkest parts of my life. And I I would be comfortable, I guess, saying that I was an alcoholic. I I really don't like that word at all, but maybe I was, but I am not an alcoholic now. I'm not powerless to alcohol, I'm not diseased, I'm not addicted. I won. And that gives that makes me feel so good. Now, with that said, I understand the value of calling yourself an alcoholic because it is a constant reminder that you're never gonna be somebody who can drink in a normal way. So I get that. I get why you would want to forever be considered an alcoholic, because it's like no matter how good you feel, you are that person who can't drink. And if holding on to that label helps you, then run with it. Like call yourself whatever the heck you want to call yourself. But for me, I I put a different spin on that, I guess. It's not that I have this disease, basically. I'm an alcoholic and I'm never somebody who can have a normal relationship with alcohol because of that. Although I do believe that to be true, that I won't ever have a normal relationship with alcohol. It's like my motivation actually comes from the fact that my life has so improved with sobriety that I don't want to throw all that goodness away for the chance to drink in a normal way. Like one drink or trying to drink in a normal way is never gonna be worth it again. The chance that I slide down that slippery slope and fall into a drinking problem again is not worth like tasting somebody's champagne or like having one beer to test things out. And that's kind of where my motivation comes from. And again, it's not calling myself diseased, it's not saying that I have a problem and one sip is gonna send me into a spiral. It's more like I love the life that sobriety has given me, and there's zero part of me that wants to even risk going back to the life I had before because it was so awful. But you see how I separate those two lives? I say, like, that was the old me. That that person is not me anymore. And I feel so empowered saying that. Like I am a new person, sobriety has completely changed my life. I like saying that I don't drink, I like saying that I'm sober. I don't usually out loud say that I'm in recovery, but sometimes I use that in my my captions or when I write about my experience. Um, because it is a journey, you are recovering from something, but I don't currently still have that thing. Does that make sense? It's like even if I was sick, I'm not sick anymore. I don't drink the very substance that makes you an alcoholic. So why would I call myself currently an alcoholic? I'll tell people I had a drinking problem, but I don't have one anymore. I'm sober, I'm happy, and I don't struggle with alcohol. I do not have a problem with alcohol anymore. The really cool thing about sobriety is that we're all on the same team. And that's what I really want us to keep in mind. I'm not saying that my way is the right way. I'm not saying that your way is the right way or the wrong way. I'm not saying any of that. And I really hate how sometimes I I think I just see it on TikTok sometimes, where like people are either really for AA or against AA because of X, Y, and Z reasons. And I would never say that because whatever got you sober is the right way to get sober. Whatever got you here, whatever you called yourself, whatever system you did, if you have gotten sober successfully, that is a win. And there's there's no right way or wrong way. People ask me all the time about non-alcoholic beers and non-alcoholic wines, and does that count as being sober? And I I always say, like, it's your journey, and you can do what feels right for your journey. Just on that topic of non-alcoholic drinks, I drank a lot of NA beers in the beginning of my sobriety because I was a beer drinker, and there's not really any non-alcoholic drinks that give you that same beer feeling. Beer is such a unique taste, it's not sweet like a cocktail or like a wine. It's its own weird flavor that nothing else really has. And so when I quit drinking, I was like, where can I get that flavor? Like I was half addicted, I don't like using that word, but you know, I was half addicted to the flavor, um, and half addicted to the effects, you know? And that flavor is something I really, really wanted, and I couldn't imagine having like some pretzels or popcorn and not having a beer to go with it. I missed the flavor so much, and so I actually really leaned in to NA beers, and they were my savior in the beginning. They were my savior. And I just want to say that some beers have less than 0.5% alcohol, some have 0.0% alcohol, so just keep your eye out for that if you really want to be like not even a drop of alcohol, but there's so such a small trace in the less than 0.5%. I think they just have to say that a lot of times because it's made in the same factory as the alcohol ones. Anyway, or because they've removed it, not that it was made without alcohol. I don't know the details or like the legal rules for what you have to put on the label. But yeah, beers, NA beers helped me so much in the beginning of my sobriety because it gave me that flavor satisfaction, and you're not getting a buzz from them, so you don't feel like having three or four. You have one or two and you're like, good. And then eventually I'd have once in a blue moon, like when I was out at bars and things like that, and then now I don't really drink them at all. But they were a daily part of early sobriety for me, and I really believe that they they saved me. I don't know if I could have given up my favorite thing, beer, without a non-alcoholic option available to me. So some people would say, oh my god, you can't drink anything that even seems like alcohol. It's gonna send you back into a drinking problem. Well, it works for me, so I don't know what to say. Whatever leads you to your sober self is the right way. And that can look different for everybody. Some people relapse three times before it finally sticks. Some people go to AA, some people go to smart recovery, some people go to rehab, some people do it on their own, some people are able to moderate their drinking. So, you know, everybody's situation is different, but in the sober community, we're all on the same team and sobriety is the win. So I'm just sharing uh for a little context why I steer clear of the words alcoholic and addict in my personal sober journey and in all these episodes. But if you want to call yourself either of those things, you go right ahead. If you want to say that you are powerless to alcohol, uh go ahead. You know, I see I can see both sides, I can see the benefits to both sides. I just want to share with you why I don't use those words. Because using those, I mean, the thought of using those was so intimidating to me too. It made me feel like I was so focused on the negative. And when I was making this decision to get sober, I wanted to only focus on the positives. I wanted to be like, this is a good thing I'm doing for myself. My body is healing, my mind is healing, I'm losing weight, I'm having this glow up internally and externally. Um, I just wanted to hyperfixate on the positives. And I would do that. Like anything good that happened if I got a really good night's sleep. Like the first night that I didn't wake up in the middle of the night was the best night ever. Because I have lots of episodes about sleep on this podcast, but I used to wake up every single night when I was drinking every day. I would wake up in the middle of the night between the hours of 2 and 4 a.m. every single night. I needed alcohol to fall asleep, but then because of alcohol, I couldn't stay asleep. I would wake up like clockwork every single night. It was part of my routine. And I remember the first night that I slept all the way through the night, I was like, oh my God, that was amazing. That was like the best sleep I've ever had. And instead of focusing on who I was and the problems I had, I hyper-fixated on the good things that happened. So when I had that good night of sleep, I hyperfixated on that. I'm like, oh my God, I love So Bright, it gives me a great night's sleep. When my bloating and like inflammation started to go away, I was like, oh my God, my stomach is looking better. This is amazing. When I noticed that my nails were getting stronger and they didn't break every time I took my laptop out of the bag and like it slipped out of my fingers, and I would break a nail every single time I did that. And I was like, oh my god, wait, my nails are kind of strong right now. I I don't need gel. I can do regular polish and my nails aren't breaking all the time. Like I used to get gel to make my nails strong enough so they wouldn't break all the time. But now I don't need that. That's a little win. I I experienced so many little wins in sobriety. I would even, I I even did an episode called Lucky Girl Syndrome because in the beginning of my sobriety, I literally felt so lucky because, like I said, I would hyperfixate on the good things that happened. And I think that's such a good way to live, like thinking positively, because I do believe a little bit in the power of like manifestation. And if you notice the good things, if you practice gratitude, more good things happen to you. And so focusing on the negatives and calling myself an alcoholic all the time, and like I have a problem, I'm diseased, I'm powerless, feeding myself that negative energy would make me like notice the negative things instead of noticing the positive things. So that's just a little explanation, a little backstory. If you couldn't tell by the title, this is a mini episode because I'm still traveling in Sweden and Poland. I'm on a little solo adventure. My mom is gonna join me for a little portion of the trip because I'm going to Auschwitz, and that is something I want to experience with somebody because it's so heavy. And um, yeah, so my mom and I are gonna spend like three or four days, three days, I think, together in Krakov, and then I'll do the rest of my travels for a total of 10 days by myself. So yeah, I wanted to just release a quick little mini episode pre-recorded. Um, and I will be back with a regular, full-length episode next Tuesday. If you're not already, make sure to join our Facebook support group. It's called the Scoop Troop, and the link is in the description, as well as all the other resources I offer. And thank you for being a part of this community. Feel free to leave a review if you enjoyed this episode. I know this was kind of a weird episode, but um, if you've enjoyed any of the episodes on the sober scoop, feel free to leave a review. A comment if you're on Spotify, a follow helps a lot, and it helps these episodes reach people who need it because having community and sobriety with or without AA is so important. And I do believe that this podcast community, the TikTok page, the Facebook group, they're all there to build community, and there are ways to find community outside of AA too, in case you're like me and found that maybe it wasn't for you. So thank you for listening, and I'll see you when I'm back from my international travels. Bye, guys.