The "Food Poisoning" lie: vomiting from drinking

I used to blame my ailments on ANYTHING other than drinking: Throwing up? -must be food poisoning. Loosing control of my bowels? Must be a gut health issue like IBS. Alcohol was my savior, so it couldn't possibly be causing me all this harm, right? WRONG. Little did I know, alcohol was at the root of all of these issues & more. And sobriety is what revealed that to me.

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Guys, do you realize it's always been the alcohol? Your tummy issues, your anxiety, your problems in your relationship, your nutrition diet situation, your skin issues, your hair issues, your nail issues, your digestive issues. It's always been alcohol fam. Okay? I'm not saying that sobriety is the cure for everything, but man, it is crazy that when you quit, so many things have a glow-up. Things that you can see on the outside, but then also just your bodily function on the inside and your mental health. It's just wild that it's always been the alcohol. And we never wanted when we are drinking to put the blame on alcohol. When that could have been the cure to it all. In today's episode, I want to talk about all the ways that I gave alcohol a free pass. All the things that were going on in my body that I blamed on everything else and everyone else other than alcohol. When little did I know alcohol was the root cause of it all. It caused it all. How crazy. Okay, let's jump right in. First things first, my name is India Gance. I am the host of this here show, in which I have titled The Sober Scoop. Welcome to the Sober Scoop. We also have a Facebook support group. It's called The Scoop Troop. The link to join is always in the description of these videos. It's a very supportive community where you can ask for advice, you can give advice, you can share your progress, photos. We love it over there. So make sure to subscribe to the pod, join our Facebook group, and thank you for being here. So the inspiration for this episode was that the other day I was just sitting in the car and it kind of hit me that I haven't thrown up in a while. I don't know why that came to mind, but I was like, it's been a long time since I barfed. And I'm sorry if that is a sensitive topic. I know there's some phobias out there with throwing up, so this isn't the episode for you. If that is one of your phobias. Sorry, should have given a trigger warning. Um, but anyway, I was sitting in the car and I'm like, I haven't thrown up in a while. Like it's been a long time since I threw up, which is wild because it just got me thinking about how when I was drinking, I threw up all the time. It was just routine. It was part of my life. I got ill, I got sick from alcohol on such a regular basis that I'd be just like hanging out, not even partying or anything, or like doing shots, just having like a casual night, you know, 10 beers or so and some uh some in and out takeaway. And you know, we're chilling, we're watching a movie, and I would just like get up and excuse myself to go to the bathroom and throw up. And then I would just like return, like nothing had happened. I'd do it in my own bathroom, I'd do it in friends' bathrooms, I'd do it when we're out at the bar. I was not somebody who blacked out from drinking, and as you guys know, I always kind of went for like a two-beer buzz, like a constant just, you know, fuzzy feeling instead of like trying to get drunk. And like there were definitely nights where I went really, really hard, probably like once a week, which sounds like a lot, but for me it wasn't when you're drinking every single day, only one of those days, I would go really hard. And sometimes I wouldn't remember. Like maybe twice a month I wouldn't remember details of the night because I went so hard. Um, and I don't know if that's what you consider like a blackout. I feel like there's two types of drinkers. Some people go really, really hard and are doing shots and drinking a lot, and they blackout and they forget. And then there are barfers, the people who throw up before you ever get to the blackout point. And that was me, which I used to think was my superpower. By the way, I'm sorry if you can hear my dishwasher in the background, but anyway, I thought that it was a flex. I mean, I wouldn't like tell other people this, uh maybe my f close family and friends, but I would be like, oh yeah, you know, it's good that I throw up before I ever black out, because my body is getting it out of my system. It's telling me, you know, we've had enough, we've gone too far. And that's just so backwards that I thought that was a good thing. Like, oh yeah. I mean, blacking out is horrible too. You can't even compare the two things. It's apples and oranges, but it's like I was proud of the fact that my body was rejecting the substance that is poisonous that I was willingly putting into my body. And I was like, oh thank God, you know, I'm I'm a thrower-upper, not a blackouter. Uh thank God my body's rejecting the poison that I continue to give it on a regular basis. And I just accepted that as what was gonna be happening. I mean, that's that was just my life. I was like, yeah, I'm somebody who throws up. And I'd get sick all the time. And it was crazy because I remember that, especially with my most recent boyfriend, the good boyfriend, um, I would pretend or not even pretend, because I had fully convinced myself even that it was truth. I would constantly be getting food poisoning, or yeah, what I convinced myself was food poisoning. Because like I said, we'd go get in and out or something, and around that time, In N Out was having this uh this thing with their lettuce, or no, it was like their tomatoes or something were making people sick. And so we'd go get in and out, and I would have, you know, 13 beers in the evening or something, and one in and out burger, and get sick by the end of the night and be like, oh my god, it was probably the tomatoes from the in and out. It's like, hello. Why do we never ever want to put blame on the alcohol? Alcohol to me was queen of the freaking world, and it could never be alcohol's fault. Like I would literally blame it on anything else. I was like, what did I have for breakfast? What was in that in and out burger? Did you have the sauce on your burger? Could it have been from the sauce? Could it have been from the fries and the potatoes? Like it had to be something other than the booze. Because alcohol wouldn't do me like that, right? I just always wanted to blame something else. It was never alcohol's fault. And yeah, so the throwing up situation, like the fact that it would happen so regularly, and I would just continue to say, oh, it's food poisoning, oh, it's something I ate. Like, I've been sober for 789 days. And I think I've thrown up one time, and it's when I had the flu, like over a year ago. One time in over two years. In like two years and two months. I've thrown up once, and I just accepted it as normal that when I was drinking, I was throwing up all the time. And I gotta wonder what the heck my boyfriend was thinking. I mean, a lot of times I would do it in secret. I would go to the bathroom and I would just throw up and come back because I was like, oh my god, you know, I can't be throwing up. We're we're trying to have a a cute, quiet date night here with a glass of wine and some charcuterie in a movie, but little does he know I had three cocktails and twelve beers before I arrived, for example. And r you know, certain alcohols would make me sicker than others, like red wine would like almost always make me throw up if I was having like a bottle and a half. And so we're having our cute red wine night, and I go to the bathroom, I throw up. Oh my god, it was just like I hate I hate that it became routine for me. I hate that when I was out at bars, it was just like I casually go over to the bathroom, I throw up, and I come on back and just continue drinking like nothing even happened. Throwing up is really bad for you. Let's I mean, first of all, first of all, literally your body is rejecting the substance, right? Like when if you eat something and it really does have bacteria in it or something, like your body has to get that out of you. It's like a safety measure. And when you are repeatedly throwing up from alcohol, like that is your body saying, This is poison. We cannot process this thing that you're putting into us. We gotta get it out. Like, this is not good to have in the body. It's not good for your organs. Your body has to get it out, and so that's why you throw up. Which I wish that would have been the sign. Like, my body is rejecting the substance constantly, but I just I couldn't even process the fact that it was the alcohol doing that to me. It had to be anything else other than alcohol. And then also, it's really not good for for us to be throwing up all the time. It's bad for your esophagus, it's bad for your internal organs. That's that's a process that is like an emergency procedure for your body. Like once in a blue moon, you eat something bad and your body rejects it and you throw it up and get it out of your body. But throwing up on a regular basis, it's not good for you. It's really bad for your throat, it's bad for your teeth, it's bad for your stomach. It's things are not supposed to go that direction. You know what I mean? You're supposed to ingest food and drink, not projectile vomit the other direction. That's not how the body works. Okay, on another subject, let's talk about mental health and how, again, I would blame it on anything other than the alcohol. So, as you guys know, like I have and still do in sobriety struggle with some ADHD symptoms, and especially like the hyperactivity side of things, having a lot of energy and being fidgety and like unable to relax, especially in the evenings. There's a lot of other symptoms, obviously, in that category, like just constantly having thoughts racing in your mind and having to keep a notepad nearby because you're just having to dump everything somewhere because you're constantly thinking you literally cannot ever turn off your brain. And I used to use alcohol to turn off my brain and just get like a little break from all of the noise and all the constant thoughts going through my mind. And part of the reason I got sober was because I realized that I might have some of these ADHD symptoms and it like kind of clicked for me, where I was like, oh my god, I'm using alcohol as my medicine for this stuff. And maybe if I just worked on the ADHD stuff and worked on my mental health, maybe my desire for alcohol would go down. And when I realized that, amongst some other reasons that I was drinking, I was like, wait, I could actually get sober maybe and like fix this way of thinking. Because here's the thing: like I said, I still do struggle with that, but it's way better than it was. And I don't need something to help me relax, if that makes sense. So I thought, again, that alcohol was my savior. I thought it was the queen of the world, and I was fully convinced that I needed alcohol to exist. Like I called it my medicine. I actually needed it, especially for a chill date night like we were talking about before, where I'm watching a movie with my boyfriend or something, like I would not be able to chill or relax without alcohol. It would be literally impossible. But the crazy thing is, I thought alcohol was my medication, my solution for this mental stuff that I was dealing with. And in a lot of ways it was. But what I didn't realize is that using alcohol to cope with all that was making everything worse. It like if you are drinking alcohol to numb your mind, you end up needing alcohol just to exist because that's your normal now. You use alcohol to feel normal. And so when you're not drinking alcohol, you don't feel normal. And that also like raises your anxiety in the morning because you drank all night, and so you wake up and it's kind of that like Sunday scaries vibe. But if you're already dealing with some ADHD stuff too, or other kind of mental health issues, and you wake up and you're hung over, and your mind is deprived your money your body and mind are deprived of alcohol, like it makes everything worse. Your morning is way worse. Trying to accomplish any average task is way harder. Those racing thoughts are way worse. If you deal with any like OCD, that's something that I feel like has improved drastically in sobriety. And I don't even like talking about this because it's so uncomfortable, and I I really I really don't speak on it too much, but there are just a couple things in my life that I would like do compulsively, and um it became like debilitating almost, like couldn't escape this one area for a really long period of time until it it felt right, until I like completed the task. And let's just say in sobriety, I deal with a lot less of that, and I'm able to control myself a little better. Like I'm able to say you don't need to touch that, you don't need to do that. And I I really am able to work on the mental health side of things, which is really cool. Because when you're drinking, you just drink it away. You never actually work on anything. So when you get sober, you're forced to find those behavioral tactics and learnings to improve your ADHD symptoms, OCD symptoms, uh, you know, depression, anxiety, whatever you might have. You're forced to face those. And whether that's just naturally on your own, or whether that's through therapy, whether that's through um actual medication for your mental health disorder, um, like you actually just face that and you work on it instead of turning to alcohol. And I'm gonna be honest, the number one hardest thing probably about getting sober for me was in the beginning when the hyperactivity was just through the roof. And I always talk about recess drinks because those kind of helped me get through it because they have adaptogens in them and like magnesium, so they help you relax. And those drinks like really helped in my transition away from alcohol. So highly recommend finding an adaptogen drink that you like. They're not like addictive, you don't get any buzz from them. They just kind of they're they're supposed to calm and focus your mind and just make you feel at ease. And I think there are some real true um benefits to drinking those, but then also even if it's placebo, like having that ritual of an evening drink really helped me in my transition to sobriety. So, anyways, the hardest part about getting sober was those beginning stages and just not being able to sit still. It was insane. I remember I chewed a lot of sunflower seeds because that was that like hand-to-mouth action. It kept my mouth busy. I kept a notepad right by me while I was watching a movie so I could write down like every thought that I had. I was building furniture like crazy, I was digging up the backyard and doing yard work until the wee hours of the night, like literally with a headlamp on. I I just had to keep busy. I was doing puzzles, I was, yeah, just my hands had to be busy. So the beginning was really, really hard. But what's cool is that the longer you're sober, the better it gets. And it's not just like you get more used to the hyperactivity, it's like literally your brain starts to heal. And this is what's so cool is that we thought that alcohol was curing our issues, but really it was making it worse. And when you remove alcohol, your brain actually starts to heal. And it takes some time. I don't remember the exact stats, but like your brain goes through some significant changes after one month without alcohol, after three months without alcohol, and then I think like fully after a year without alcohol, your brain is like healed and back to normal. And there is some serious benefit to this. Like all those issues that we've been having that we're using alcohol to heal, were just getting worse and worse and worse. So we needed alcohol more and more and oh more and more and more. But when you get sober, it's like the longer you're sober, the less and less you need alcohol because you are literally healing in your body and mind. Let's talk about digestion, because this is another thing that I just fully could not realize was alcohol. I had convinced myself that my digestive issues were because I had IBS or something. And, you know, not to get too graphic, I do have a whole episode on poo on number two, so you can go back and listen to that if you really want the juicy details. But I really was struggling with my digestion. I mean, like things were not happening how they're supposed to happen, okay? It was several times a day, and like not, I mean, it would sneak up on me. I would be on a walk, I would be out, and I'd be like, oh my god, it's an emergency. It was always an emergency, which is why I I always had an aisle seat on the plane, because I've had some close calls. And even when I took my morning walks and stuff, in the morning is when I would struggle with digestion, right? Because you wake up and you things start moving and everything. And I would go on my morning walk, and I just had one too many close calls where I was like, I'm far away from my house and I need the bathroom immediately, like I might have to go knock on a neighbor's door or something. I had too many close calls that I had to stop going on my morning walk. Like that's how bad it got just to paint the picture. And I remember I was talking to like my best friend Sophia, she's amazing, she's a health coach, and she has her own um, like I guess, supplement brand as well. Like they do creatine and gut health and all this stuff. Anyways, she is a very smart girly when it comes to health and wellness. And so I was struggling with my digestion, and I kind of told her what was up, and I was like, I think I have IBS. Like I told her all the the nitty-gritty juicy details, and I remember I was just complaining to her about my digestive issues and how out of whack it was, and she was telling me about other people who have IBS and what their experience is like, and I'm like, oh my god, that's me. Like, I'm sick for sure. I have there has to be some condition here. It can't be the fact that I'm having 15 beers every day and starting my day with a Coors Light and a coffee. Like, couldn't be that. Had to be some sort of condition in my body. Oh, I'm lactose intolerant. I thought I was like celiac or lactose intolerant for a while. I went dairy free for a bit because oh my digestion is so bad, like milk must be messing me up. Couldn't be the 12 pack of beers I had today. No chance. Why did I want to blame everything on anything other than alcohol? Alcohol was never to blame. It was literally the queen of my life and could do no wrong, even though little did I know, it was causing all of these issues. And the improvements to my digestion, not even kidding you, is one of my favorite parts of sobriety. Like, I can't even tell you the relief I felt to finally have that cured. Because it was bad, guys. It was bad. I truly felt like I could not live my life. Whenever I would go out to dinner, I'd be nervous. I would have like date nights with my boyfriend, I'd be nervous. Um like I said, those morning walks, I'm nervous. Going on a flight or like a long bus ride or something with no bathroom, super nervous. Like, I can't even explain how much of my mental capacity digestion was taking up, you know? Like it was always on my mind. It was at the center of my mind, and I kind of categorize that as having alcohol on the mind all the time because it now I know it was alcohol-related. So that just that just proves even further the extreme focus I had on alcohol in my life, like how alcohol was ruining my life and taking up so much of my mental space on a regular basis. And another thing, my skin. Guys, oh my god! I had this video of my skin when it was like I was just having a really bad skin day, and so I took a video of it, and my skin was literally falling off my face. I am not oily, I don't struggle with acne, but I struggle with the opposite, which is being ultra dry. I still do, I still am dry. But when you drink alcohol, you are dehydrating yourself, even though you're drinking liquid, it is doing the opposite, it is dehydrating you. And it's not as much in the moment, but like if I had a big drinking day, I wake up. Next day, and it's like my skin is so thirsty for moisture, it's so dry. So, anyways, I took this video, and I was first of all, uh I mean related to this, but I was having like this skin issue around my nose where like actually my skin was falling off. Like it was so chunky and peeling off. I had to like exfoliate it every day and then put this cream on, and maybe it was something bacterial, blah blah blah. I was trying all these things that I was learning on TikTok MD LOL. Um I was just like, why is my nose frickin' flaking off? And then around my mouth it was so dry, my lips were so dry, it was crazy. Um, everywhere on my face was just so dry, and you could see so clearly in that video the texture of my skin, and although I still struggle with dryness, it is so much better. I am such a more hydrated person since getting sober. Now, you want to talk about a different type of flight anxiety I had after getting sober. It was not about having emergencies to the bathroom. Well, it sort of was because when I got sober, I drank an obscene amount of water. And kind of that fear that I had of never having alcohol or sorry, like running out of alcohol, that was such a fear of mine. Like, what if I lose my buzz? What if I'm not able to get a drink? What if I have to go this whole flight and they don't have alcohol on board? Those types of fears were then kind of translated into a fear of not having water. I don't know why. I think it I think those are actually really related mentally because I don't have that anymore. I don't have a fear of not having water anymore. But right after I quit drinking, I would get so stressed that they wouldn't have water on the flight, and I would get so thirsty, or you know, they give you those little tiny cups, and I need like a lot of water. I replaced my drinking with water, which is good, of course, but I just like was freaking out all the time about not having water, and I'd bring my water bottle everywhere with me. And anyway, so I still had some of the flight anxiety of like needing to be in the aisle seat to use the bathroom because I drank so much water, it was insane. But going off of that, like the water and just not consuming alcohol every day improved the dryness of my skin so much. And I think the biggest difference I see is in my lips because my lips are still to this day on the drier side. I use aquafore every night uh to kind of maintain supple lips throughout the day, but the no alcohol and increase in water has really improved my lips. So they're not like crusting and like flaking off and scabbing because they're so dry. I mean, that's how dry my lips were. I I would look at these lip ads, like for lipstick, and be like, how do their lips look like that? Mine were disgusting on a daily basis, and I still have a really bad, you know, slightly compulsive habit of picking my lips. I'm trying to work on it. Um, so that's the only time where I'll get those like scabby lips. But my lips used to just get so crispy and dry all the time. All the time. And even something like using aquifore, that is just that's what I'm talking about. Like when you quit drinking, it exposes your problems so that you can actually work on them. Like, I didn't realize that my dry lips were because of alcohol. So I take away the alcohol and I'm like, oh my gosh, I have dry lips, let's do something about that. I start incorporating aquafore into my nightly routine every single night. We actually are in tune with our body and see what's wrong, what's going on. If you did have any digestive issues, or if you are throwing up, like in sobriety, clearly that's a sign that something is wrong. You know that when your stomach hurts, you've eaten something or done something different that's irritated it. When you throw up, you're either sick or something you ate, you know what it is, and you feel so in tune with your body because you can actually know when something is going wrong. You can improve yourself as well because the issues become so clear. They're not being like muddied by alcohol. And that's just so great. Like, once you take away alcohol, you can analyze all the things going on in your body. And if you do have IBS, like if you're still having digestive issues after getting sober, then you might have IBS. You might have actual issues, but you will never know if you don't peel back the layer of alcohol and actually expose yourself to what is going on. Alcohol is the problem, guys. It's alcohol. It's always been the alcohol, as much as we didn't want to see it when we are drinking every day. It's always been the alcohol. And it's really quite beautiful to experience all of these wonderful changes that I would have never thought would happen from quitting drinking. I just, I don't even know how to express it. I cannot believe how many things have improved in sobriety. Which, in my opinion, yeah, there's that whole causation versus correlation thing, but because like I'm healthier in every way, I'm more hydrated in every way, I work out more, I eat healthier, all of that stuff. So I'm not saying that sobriety caused all these things, but it is wild how many things improved when I took out alcohol out of the equation. It's wild. So sobriety exposes your body's actual condition, it makes you feel so in tune with your body. It's good for your mental health, even though it feels really hard in the beginning. It it gets harder before it gets easier, but it's worth it in the end. Your body and mind are always going to be better sober, and you can actually work on yourself and work on those things once alcohol is out of the picture, and it's a it's a beautiful process. So thank you for listening to today's episode. I am headed to Poland today, actually. Um, I'm going to Sweden and then Poland. So let me know if you have any recommendations. But I'll be going to Stockholm, Gdansk, Krakow, Krakow, um, and Zakopane. So those are the places I'm going. I'm so excited. And solo travel is just so exciting for me now. I the old me would have loved to solo travel so I can just drink alone and have an alcohol problem out in public without anyone knowing who I am. And every aspect of my trip would be focused on where I can get my next drink, where I can go to the bar, this and that, where can I buy more booze. And now I get to fully experience my trips, and it just makes them so so special. So I'm really looking forward to it. I'm sure I'll have some stories. I always have, you know, one or two random stories from my travels about like how a local tried to give me alcohol or there's alcohol in the hotel room or whatever. So I'm sure I'll have some stories, but feel free to send me your recommendations and I'll see you guys next Tuesday. Bye.